Worth

adjective. sufficiently good, important, or interesting

noun. high value or merit

In all my writing, the single topic I seem to have covered extensively is my very own existence. My life direction, meaning and pot holes. While I can appreciate this has given me a lot material to muse upon, I realise that to beat a dead horse does not help anyone, including myself.

Along with this revelation, another greater one has come to me. I seem to have found the reason for my wanting more. The reason for my moving forward. I seek worth. I want to have worth. Like you, dear reader, I am unsure what this means. So that shall have to be step one in this journey of sorts. At least I know now what it is I seek even if I can not define it yet.

If the only proof of ever being alive is what people remember and our actions, well then it seems easy. But where to start? I hope people remember me. Hell, I hope people like me. But that’s not really enough. One can not base their life and actions on what people think. So the obvious question is : do I like who I am, who I have become become?

I could say I am at step one yet again in my thinking, but I think I am little further than that. I at least know what path I seek. That’s more than just a couple of months ago. I seek worth. Now I just need to attain it. Even if I don’t know how to attain it.

I suppose that in order to attain worth, one must know oneself. Which then begs the question: do I even know myself? So much to ponder on, and yet, so little. I am but one in a multitude. I only have my words, and tonight dear reader, they are failing even me…