Or How to Drive 239KM Out of Melbourne
Now the real adventure began. A five-day trip from Melbourne to Sydney, the long way. Our intention was to try to stick to the coast as much as possible. And in doing so, we’d manage to ignore the flat nothingness that makes up 90% of Australia.
We locked up the apartment, jumped on a tram and began to make our way to Melbourne Airport. Luckily, it’s a short tram ride and a medium bus ride to get there. But we weren’t flying anywhere, we’d be picking up the rental car that was to be our transport. Apon arriving at the airport, the first adventure became figuring out where the car rental place was. With all the construction adding to a very horribly laid-out airport to begin with, it was not such an easy task. But our efforts were rewarded with a nice surprise. No longer confined to a four-door sedan, we were now upgraded to a nice new Hyundai Tucson SUV. No longer will our knees be up around our earholes when in the back seat - we now had room enough for the whole family! And what a great vehicle it turned out to be. It even had Apple CarPlay, and traffic light warnings built in - all of which turned out to be a great help!
The next adventure once receiving the car, checking for scratches and getting it out the parking lot was to actually drive the thing out of Melbourne. Anyone who’s seen roads in New Zealand will understand - there’s something super British about how the roads are built. “Sure, you can a four lane”, they say “as long as the 2 outside lanes can be used for parking, and bus stops, and everything else but a road.” And we even avoided the CBD - which still took us about an hour and half to actually leave the wider Melbourne area. Either this city is sprawling, or the traffic system is not great. Both of which are true.
After a three-hour drive, we got to our first stop - Old Gippsland. A quaint tourist trap, full of old buildings that have been relocated to create a hodgepodge olde style mining town, filled with history of Melbourne and Australia. From one of the first farmstead buildings to a 1930s style gas station, this display of history tried to cover it all. And due to the lockdowns and lockouts, I managed to find myself back in a bar, for the first time in about a year. Ok, so maybe the bar was not in use, and maybe it was out of the 1800’s but hey, it still counts!
Arriving at our lodgings for the night, it was decided that we were to test out these here beds in this fine Quality Inn establishment. That’s a rather posh way of saying we all, upon checking in, and moving our luggage into our rooms, promptly had a nap. And we can confirm, the beds were up to scratch indeed.
With sunset approaching, we decided to investigate a local bush trail, with the possibility of seeing some Australian wildlife. This time, Maurice decided he was drive us there, probably feeling slightly anxious at the way I had wrangled us out of Melbourne. Thanks to the wonder of Apple CarPlay, no navigator was needed, merely a phone plugged into the car, so it allowed Simone and me to sit at the back and get a taste of what it feels like to be chauffeured around.
Once on our way, Maurice decided the road signs beat the nice lady in the GPS when it comes to accuracy, and in doing so, ended up making the mistake everyone makes once. Australia, for everything they do right, still can’t understand road signage. Oh, they put it up. And it looks all official. But when it comes to frequency, relevancy, and just general helpfulness, it seems to come apart at the seams. Often the sign that is the most helpful is the one you’ve just blown past, indicating that that was indeed the turn you should have made. And so it happened to Maurice too.
Not content to be told to go straight by the GPS, he instead followed the signs telling him to make a turn. And in doing so, took us all on a lovely excursion around a lake. Now, I am not complaining, as this exclusion allowed me to see what would possibly be the only alive kangaroo for the entire trip. But the road around the lake ended up depositing us, a hundred meters up the road from where we made the turn. Something we haven’t let him live down yet. In fact, the mantra of the next few days was “just follow the GPS”. No brains allowed here!
But in the end, we found the bush trail, and we found some wallabies! So many wallabies! We walked until it was dark, and then not being in the mood to be murdered in the bush, turned around and made our way back to the car. This time, the directions back to the inn were followed to the letter. No room for adventuring here. Not when the masses are starving.
And so our first day came to an end, with much having been done and still a good few days ahead.
Your humble servant,
Kyle